God's Design For The Family Part 3: Kids In The Family

All right, kids are staying in the service this morning. Kids are staying in the service. I know some are taking off already.

We are gonna take communion together. We are talking about kids in the family and God's design for the family and where do they fit in. What is their responsibility to the adults in the family and what are the responsibilities of the adults to the children? And then at the end, we're going to take communion together.

So we recently got a new faucet for the kitchen sink. And yeah, we didn't hire somebody. You know, we went and bought it.

And I've changed a few faucets over the years. I'm not a plumber, you know, especially early in our marriage. You know, why plumb something once if you could do it twice, right? And so, but I've done a few faucets and I got everything out and there just seemed to be more parts than normal.

You know, like, where's Woody? Like, do they just add stuff in there? Like, are they making it easier or harder these days? So I had like a little bit of a few questions on this one little under the sink mount bracket thing. So I pulled out the instructions. I'm not afraid to do that.

And this is what, then I was even just more bothered because it was almost all pictures. There was very little written describing what was going on in the pictures. And to make it worse, there were four different ways you could install it with no instruction, you know, over in which situation would you follow which set of pictures? So anyways, I'm working around and watching a YouTube video and I must've been at it for a while.

And Sarah said to me, who's in the living room, she said, everything okay in there? I hear a lot of muttering. And apparently I was seeking my own counsel in the matter. And so I had a sense of what needed to happen, but at the same time, I was kind of at a loss of how to get to where I needed to go.

How many of you ever feel like that when it comes to your family? You have a sense of how things should be, but you're just sometimes puzzled about how to make it really work. That was me a few weeks ago. And guess what? I only did this one once.

I installed it, I turned it on, there was no leaks, praise the Lord. So we've spent the last two weeks talking about God's design for the family, men in the family, then women in the family. This morning, we're gonna talk about kids in the family.

So some of the things we've talked about is that the husband is to be the loving head who leads and guides his family. The wife is to respectfully submit to her husband out of love and obedience to the Lord. The two come together in a complimentary way.

It is for their good and also for the glory of God. When we have conflict and struggle for control in the marriage, it is because of sin in the world. We saw where that came in Genesis and often these self-serving attitudes that don't reflect God's plan get in the way and we have conflict in marriage.

But there's a lot more to family than just husbands and wives. So we're gonna talk about kids in the family and hopefully this is good for both the parents that are in here this morning, but also for the kids that are in here this morning. I've got some things from God's word for you.

So what we're gonna do is let's just pray and we'll open God's word and see what he has for us this morning. So Father, we're grateful to be here this morning. We're grateful that the kids are in here with us this morning.

We had to learn together about what you've told us about family and what you've told us about kids and what you've told us about parents and how we're to work together for your glory. And I just pray as we look at your word this morning, it would be beneficial for all of us. We pray it in Jesus' name, amen.

We're gonna start with reading a couple of verses in Deuteronomy and probably you could read these almost any Sunday and say, this is one of the reasons why we're opening God's word this morning, but I'm gonna do it this morning. Deuteronomy 10, 12 and 13, Moses is speaking to the people of Israel. They're about to go into the promised land.

They're getting ready anyways. And he says, now Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? But to fear the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the Lord, which I am commanding you today for your good. God's commandments and instructions and his ways and his outline, they are good for us.

And so it is good for us to love the Lord. It's good for us to obey his commands. It's good for us to walk in his ways.

So let's all together this morning, let's say this together. Kids included, God's ways are for my good. God's ways are for my good.

The key text for this series that we've been doing, talking about the family comes from Colossians chapter three, 18 through 21. It says this, wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Children, here we go kids, this is for you this morning. Children, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. And then verse 21, fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

So a couple of things for the parents before we talked to the kids this morning. We are to value and care for children. Amen.

We are to value and care for children. That might seem like an obvious sort of preaching to the choir kind of statement. We make a lot of effort for our kids and we do a lot of programming.

We have a lot of people that volunteer for our kids ministry, praise the Lord. They are important. We do value kids.

And at the same time, our culture does not always value children. In the United States, we still have a huge problem with abortion. Roe versus Wade was overturned in 2022.

And despite that fact, abortions have increased largely due to the availability of the abortion pill. You don't even have to go see the doctor. And so not only is this so tragic and against God's plan, but for the lives that have been lost, now you have this mother taking this pill at home under no medical care and it's devastating all the way around.

Out of the approximately 4.7 million children conceived each year in the United States, I think last year around 1.1 million were aborted and 3.6 million were born. That means 23%, roughly, last year, of kids conceived in our country were aborted. It's a huge problem, a huge problem.

So let's just see what God's word says about it. To Jeremiah, God said, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. And before you were born, I consecrated you.

I appointed you a prophet to the nations. Before he was even formed in the womb, God knew Jeremiah. God knows the unborn child.

David wrote in Psalm 139, 13 and 16, he said, for you, God, formed my inward parts. You knitted me together in my mother's womb. A baby being formed in the womb of its mother is a work of God.

He said in 16, your eyes saw my unformed substance. My unformed substance, God sees that baby in the womb. In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

In Genesis chapter nine, God says that he will require a reckoning for taking the life of a man because man is created in the image of God. Locally, we have the Georgia Mountain Pregnancy Center. I see Lou's here this morning.

Kathy's not here, Lou, but Lou's here this morning. And Victoria Bruce is here, both representing, not here representing, they're here every week, but work with the Pregnancy Center. They're doing great work in our community, Christ-centered ministry to women coming in, looking at options and trying to figure out what to do with the baby that's within them.

And it's a great resource for us. But let's be a church that supports women, children and families. Let's be individuals who are willing to walk alongside someone who thinks, man, I don't have any options.

Because when a life is conceived, God sees that life, he has a plan for that life. So we are to value and care for children. Second thing for the parents, and we'll go to the kids.

Parents are responsible for teaching their kids the ways of the Lord. Parents, if you've got kids that you're still raising, you are responsible for teaching your children the ways of the Lord. Of course, Ephesians 6, one through four, children are to obey their parents in the Lord.

This is right. Honor your father and mother. The first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you.

You may live long in the land. That's really directed towards the kids. We're gonna be there in just a minute.

And then it says, fathers, do not provoke your children in anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That's the parent's responsibility, to bring them up, and depending on your translation, the nurture, the training, the discipline, instruction, admonition of the Lord. You, as a parent, are responsible for teaching your kids what God's word says.

It was the same in the Old Testament, back in Deuteronomy 6. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Similar command, as we just read earlier, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. These words that I command to you today should be on your heart.

That's sort of instructions for all of us, like we should all live that way. We should all love God with all of our heart. We should be obedient to him.

We should be thinking about what he says, that's for everyone. But then in verse seven, he says, you shall teach them diligently to your children. Diligently, like not occasionally, haphazardly, but diligently teach your children.

You shall talk to them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your head, that they might be a front lens between your eyes. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

It's pretty comprehensive. Parents teaching their children, when you get up in the morning, when you lie down at night, when you're sitting in the home, when you are going into town, and maybe even put some scripture up on the walls of your house. So you can teach your children what it looks like to walk with the Lord.

Not just verbally either, but by your example. We're to teach our kids the ways of the Lord. So the primary responsibility for teaching kids the ways of the Lord belongs to the parents.

And the church, we come alongside parents and provide support as they do that. So we're to value and care for children. Parents are responsible for teaching their children the ways of the Lord.

And thanks to Home Depot, we use this slogan. By God's grace, you can do it, and we can help. The parents probably have heard Pastor Darrell say that to them.

I've heard him say it. It's what we're trying to say. By God's grace, you can do it, we can help.

All right, how many kids we got in here this morning? Now don't be shy, I can see you out there. All right, are you guys ready? Okay, we already read it once. Let's look at it again.

Ephesians chapter six, verse one. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. So children out here this morning, God has a plan for your life.

And it starts with obeying your parents. God's plan for you is to obey your parents. So the question is, are you going to follow God's plan for you? Or are you gonna do your own thing, go your own way? So God tells us that we are to, that children are to obey their parents.

And I would give the caveat, as long as it doesn't mean you're disobeying God. We're not gonna disobey God to obey our parents, but children are to obey their parents. Remember, we just read it in Deuteronomy, that God gives us his commands so that, because it is for our good.

So it's for your good to obey your parents. It is the right thing to do. It's on the screen.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. And kids, did you know this? In the same way that you are to obey your parents, your parents are responsible to obey God. All right, I've got a picture up there for us to look at this.

So we see children, parents, and then at the top, God. It's not about who's more important, who's stronger, smarter, who has the most money, who's got the keys to the car. That's not what we're talking about.

This is God's order for the family. Children are to obey their parents as their parents obey God. So kids, just like you have to answer to mom and dad, mom and dad have to answer to God.

And so parents, as you're raising your kids, who doesn't want God as their backup? Son, daughter, God is asking me to raise you according to his word. And so I am being obedient to God as I ask you to be obedient in these areas. Also from the top down, God trains and instructs parents so that parents can train and instruct their kids.

All right, so it kind of goes up or down. So to the kids out here this morning, your parents have been put in charge of you by God. They didn't get a choice.

Once you were born, they had no choice. They were responsible for you before God. And so as they parent you, as they take care of you, they're doing what God has told them to do.

And God says, you should do what they tell you to do, okay? So first one, how was I gonna say this? Kids, you learn to obey God by obeying your parents. All right, some of you are older and you're like, man, I can't wait to get out of this place and I will be on my own. Guess what? You are still accountable to God.

And as you learn to obey your parents, you're actually learning to obey God because one day you'll be on your own. You won't answer to mom and dad like you do today, but you will still answer to God. And so learning to obey your parents is helping you to learn to obey God.

Okay, let's just admit this. Kids, your mom and dad are not going to get everything right, right? Just like you're not gonna get everything right, mom and dad don't get everything right. Hopefully they are loving God and desire to follow Him and are seeking to follow Him.

Even if they do it imperfectly, they're still in charge. And the call is to obey them. Ephesians 6.1, children, obey your parents in the Lord.

Notice what it says next. It doesn't say because they're awesome. It doesn't say obey your parents because you love them.

It doesn't say obey your parents because they're gonna take you to McDonald's if you do. Obey your parents because it's the right thing to do. God's asking you to do it.

And so if you want to be obedient to God, one of the things you're gonna do is obey your parents. Colossians 3.20, children, obey your parents in everything. Again, not because you love them, they're gonna take you to McDonald's.

They promised you dessert, extra dessert. It pleases the Lord. That's why we obey our parents.

So obeying your parents, it's the right thing to do. Obeying your parents is something that pleases the Lord. Jesus said, if you love me, you will keep my commandments.

So kids, if you love Jesus, if you love God and you want to serve Him and you want to follow Him, one of His commands for you is to obey your parents. All right, let's keep reading. We learn to obey God by obeying our parents.

We learn to honor God by honoring our parents. Ephesians, continuing Ephesians 6, verses two and three, honor your father and mother. It's the first commandment with a promise that it might go well with you and you may live long in the land.

Okay, simple illustration. Your mom or dad asks you to clean your room. You go, fine.

Okay, and off to your room you go. You're off to a bad start already. But you're going to your room, you're picking up your laundry and you're slamming it in the hamper.

You open the closet door and you're kicking your toys or your sports stuff in there. Are you obeying your parent? Yeah, you are, right? They ask you to clean up your room, you're cleaning up your room. Are you honoring the parents? No, no, no, no, no.

So it's not just what we do, it's the attitude that we do it with. And to the parents, if you are satisfied with behavior only and not attitude, we're missing the mark. Jesus said to the Pharisees, with your lips you honor me, but your heart is far from me.

And it was a condemnation of them. All right, we're parenting the heart, not just behavior. We'll touch on that next week.

I keep taking stuff that I've been studying and just like moving it to the next sermon and moving it to the next sermon. So we're on number three, God's design for the family. We're going to do one more week.

Creating a family culture according to God's design. So anyways, that's going to be next week. We'll talk a little bit more about that.

So kids, honoring your parents is a lifelong endeavor. So as an adult, my role as an adult, I still have mom and dad, I have mother-in-law, my role is to honor them. Not to obey them anymore, but to honor them.

So I would say that when you become an adult, your responsibility to obey ends, but you must continue to honor. You show value and respect to your parents. That's for all of us.

Show your parents that you value and respect them. And maybe just add, when you become self-sufficient. So if you're a young adult and you live at home, and your parents pay your car insurance and they're paying your phone bill and they're buying your groceries and they're cleaning up after you, and you're an adult, I would say you still got to live by the house rules.

There's still a responsibility to obey in some senses because you're not, I mean, you're still being, you're a child in your parents' home. And so there can be a time of transition there where we move from obeying to honoring. All right, so kids, obey your parents.

Kids, honor your mother and your father. In other words, have a good attitude towards them. It is preparing you to love God and to serve him, be obedient to him your whole life.

So we've just looked at a few things this morning. Let's value and care for our kids. That includes being involved, being engaged, being aware, being active, taking initiative with our kids.

They're the future of our families, the future of our country, they're the future of our churches. Parents, you have the primary responsibility for teaching your kids. If that scares you, then be sure to be here on Sundays, go to the discipleship hour, join a Bible study, join a small group and figure out what does God's word say because I'm responsible to teach my kids.

It's a big responsibility. We're not gonna leave you to yourselves to do that. Like I said, by God's grace, you can do it, we can help.

For the kids that are here this morning, obey your parents. It's the right thing to do. It honors God and it pleases God when you obey your parents.

It prepares you to live for God in the future. I think we'll maybe just leave it there this morning, moving towards what is God's design for the culture of our family? How do we make all of this work? We've looked at the men in the family, we've looked at women in the family, we've looked at kids in the family and we've really just looked at what does God's word say? And maybe we could spend some time, how do we actually make this work? So let's do this. If you are a kid here this morning or a child here this morning, living in your parents' home, they're taking care of you, I would like you to stand just like we've asked the men to stand and the women to stand in the last couple of weeks.

All the kids up, up on your feet. Good, good, good, good group. Okay, and stay standing.

We're gonna pray for you like we've prayed for the men and for the women and just invite parents, grandparents, if your kids are standing, just hold their hand or put your hand on their back in support of them. And I wanna read from Joshua chapter one to those who are standing, standing right now this morning. Keep this book of the law or keep God's word always on your lips.

Meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. And this is God speaking to Joshua.

Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. I know that for those who are standing right now, a lot of times the cool thing to do is to talk smack about your parents. You know, when you get to school, you wouldn't believe what my mom said to me.

You wouldn't, you would never understand what my dad expects from me. That's not honoring your parents. Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid.

To love God by obeying and honoring your parents. You guys can do it. When you accept Jesus into your life as your savior, the Holy Spirit comes into your life and he gives you the strength to do the things that he asks you to do.

So let's pray together for those that are standing. Don't go anywhere afterwards, we're still gonna take communion together. Father, thank you for these young ones that are standing this morning.

Lord, thank you for giving us the responsibility to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. What a responsibility you've given to us. At times, Lord, it seems like we're so inadequate, we need help, we're not always sure what's the right way to do things, the best way to do things.

So God, as we look to you for instruction and guidance so that we can pass that along to the kids, Lord, I pray that these ones that are standing would be willing to receive the instruction of the Lord from their parents, from their discipleship hour, leaders from their Wednesday night leaders, that as they are growing up in their families and going to school, that they would have a heart to love you and to be obedient to you through the honoring of their parents, being willing to submit and to obey their parents, that they would learn who you are, that they would, in their own way, study your word and that they would learn as their parents teach them that you are awesome, that you are mighty, that not only you created the world, that you're sustaining the world and that you will sustain them as well as they look to you and seek to love and to serve you. And I pray that each one that's standing here would grow up to love you, to serve you, to have their families of their own and be given the opportunity to parent and teach and instruct their children in the ways of the Lord. We pray this in the name of Jesus who is more than able.

Amen.